Dear Mr. Scott
Dear Mr. Scott (Luuuuke if I may),
I have not written an Oriole
in quite some time,* but I’ve been really worried about your safety
since some veiled threats were made against you. I couldn’t sleep last
night. All I could think about were the mean people out there who might
want to hurt you, but then I had an idea to keep you safe when you’re up
to bat–helmet horns (photo below).
See everyone knows you are such a
sweetie, and bad people might think you are just a
pushover, but when you come to the plate antlered up, they will know you mean business. Think about it.
And for good grief’s sake, stay safe!
k
*PS. I really am sorry it’s been so long between letters, but my
cat turned my laptop into a cat nest, and I couldn’t get her to move,
but for Christmas I got her a cat hood. It’s helping us work through her
anger issues.
Letters to the Orioles 
